Bob Newhart Interview

I've been meaning to get this up for SIX YEARS.   You can tell I'm excited to benefit from his experience as a successful comic and actor.  And, yah, his promoter hired me for two shows.  The promoter was an intimidating guy.  He looked like a James Bond villain.  He wore an all-white suit and walked with a cane.  Right before the show, right about when my heart was going to explode, he pulled me backstage and said, "I don't care what Bob told you, you're only doing 2 minutes."  That was helpful.  

So I went out and I have to say I don't remember a thing.  There was some laughter and some bright lights and that's all I know.  It's like you're abducted by the stage.  I do recall not wanting to leave.  When I finally did I ran into Dr. No leaning on his cane, his hands atop one another as if his walking staff was deciding my fate.  I tried to avoid him but he said, "I'm slow but I'll find you!"  He was joking, I think, but I stopped and thanked him for the opportunity.  Grim, he replied, "I told you two minutes.  You did ten."

I stammered into an apology and an unwitting Newhart impression.  He stopped me and said, "They were dead out there.  You warmed them up."

I looked back at him and waited for the death ray.  But he ended with the best possible thing I could hear:  "Bob liked it. We'll see you here tomorrow night." 

Comments

[Jo Myers]

Bob loved you, Jared! You loosened him up (and went on to warm up his live audience). Great interview.

[Jen]

Again, who are you? My God, who are you?

Rad.