Friday, August 31, 2007 at 01:07PM
(please read aloud in announcer voice)...
WEIGHING IN AT A THUNDERING SIX POUNDS SIX OUNCES, AND MEASURED AT A TOWERING TWENTY AND ONE QUARTER INCHES....JARED AND SARAH AND PACO EWY WELCOME...
Friday, August 31, 2007 at 11:22AM Said the nurse who nonchalantly reached into my wife and made the carnival guess. "What if it's a boy with a girl's head?" Iasked.
It's "Push" time in 30 minutes.
please hold (me).
Friday, August 31, 2007 at 08:36AM Sarah's endured contractions since Wednesday morning, but for the most part she's been able to go on about her life. I apologize to any of the bystanders at any one of several Denver area ice cream shops that might have been caught in my wife's random grasp. Last night she added even more intensity to her grip as we packed up and headed to the hospital. I really don't know why women want babies. After watching her go through contraction piled on top of contraction I'm thinking planning for pregnancy is much like a guy saying, "Honey, I can't wait to one day peel the skin off my penis." Lemon anyone?
Finally, after six hours in the hospital, she got the ambrosia of anithesia, The Epidural. But upon turning on her right side, the kid's vitals dropped and she had to get a shot to stop the contractions. Now, eight hours later, they're dripping pitocin into her to get them started again. All those things in the pregnancy training videos that "rarely ever happen" have all wormed their way into Sarah's birthing experience. And might I just add that these ladies should be a little more gentle with the package. A nurse came in and broke her water with a bayonet. I cringed into my seat and muttered, "whoa...Rambo..."
Which brings me to "the chair." An angry woman in labor dreamt this design for the waiting male. It folds out but at an extreme downward angle so you're never really comfortable. Unless, of course, you're training for the luge. My ass has developed a suction with the vynil. Watching Nurse Bludgeon helped with that as well.
Mary Beth just unwrapped the lower half of my love and announced it was a "nice, bloody show." I love nurse humor. That these dainty ladies can be so dark is so inspiring.
8 centimeters.
Lip balm and ice chips have her sleeping again. My hero.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at 03:45AM
