Things to do 8/30/06

I didn't podcast yesterday.  Probably won't today either.  I haven't been on the air in a full time capacity in more than four years.  I had a dream last night that Bob Newhart dissed me and then I blew up a shopping mall.  Only to wake up in my dream relieved to find that the terrorist activity was a nightmare.  And then thinking I was really awake, I enjoyed some tuna salad with my mom.   And then I really woke up.  So I guess if your mind's going to evoke your dead mother it's not half bad to also dream of being a deadly terrorist.   Then when you do awaken you're not entirely disappointed.  

Last night Sarah and I ate at PF Changs before seeing Trust the Man.  It's cute and is clever enough to get away with a tired romantic comedy formula.  But David Duchovny and Billy Crudup will make you laugh your tookus off.   More on that later.

1.  Write a review for Trust the Man.

2.  Figure out Flash.  I thought I had  and sent some flash files to some web developers.  I know they eagerly await my attempts at web design.  I'm sure there's even a betting pool on whether I'll one day get it right.  But yesterday the long-shots lost again.  I recieved this e-mail:

Hi Jared.
I can probably assume the number of email I send you is equal to the
ammount of which you hate me, but here it goes anyway: there is a
slight problem with the flash.

3.  Edit video.  You will actually want to visit Great Falls once I'm done with their promo video.  (Helena is much better.) 

4.  Accumulate my hours so I'll get paid.  You'd think keeping track of your own hours would be easy but I never do and kind of have to make them up.  

5.  See Matt Dillon and Marisa Tomei in Factotum. 

6.  Water the lawn.  Now that our newly sheared maple looks like Beaker the grass will get much less shade.  Now maybe the "no look so good" guy will come back with a similar take on our lawn.  But, hey, he's cheap.  I'd recommend him but he had no business card or phone number. 

If you know of someone who thinks watering lawns is akin to buying beer for a Mormon then get them a subscription to this magazine. 

What's Really Happened 08/29/06

This dude came by and told me our maple "no look so good."  Knowing that this diagnosis could only come with an inexpensive fix, I took him up on his offer to give it a trim.  I was wondering how this one portly dude was going to cut some of the high branches out of our huge tree.  Then he goes to his truck and lets out this cat/human who leaps into my tree and scurries to what I thought was going to be his sure death.  And then to add to the degree of difficulty his buddy throws him a rope, not to secure him in any manner, but to pulley up a chainsaw stolen from the early part of the century.  I was so relieved no one died on my front lawn that I went and bought everybody some sodas.  I also took some time working my Spanish on the increasingly annoyed non-monkey-like guy.   I think he wished he could climb into the tree. 

 What else...oh, went to the Apple Store where I pull the 'Genius' into a conversation about my Mac and then gradually steer the conversation to non-related software issues.  I found a guy who was very proud of his Flash knowledge.  Thank god for geek hubris.  I also bought a soda and went and sat on Starbucks patio.  If you can get their atmosphere without their costs then you've beaten the system. 

Played with Paco and the neighbor dog Meeka.  Skipped the animated movie. 

Things to do 8/29/06

It's cold this morning.  Fall has arrived.  The chill reminds me of getting up for high school football practice.  It would be near freezing and the first thing we'd have to do is stretch out in the wet grass.   And that reminds me I didn't tell you what I thought of the Disney movie Invincible.  That's just one of the many things I need to do. 

It's a piece of crap.

I need to make a list.  I need structure.  Otherwise I start spinning my wheels and get nothing done.  Of course it could be that Paco has taken to sitting on my lap while I type, but I think that it's mostly lack of organization that has me very behind the bullet right now.  I actually told my wife, "I was going to make a schedule today but I ran out of time."  I said that in all seriousness.  She thought I was imitating Bob Hope.  

I've also been remiss in my blogging.  So I'm going to kill two birds by sharing a list of things to get done.

1.  Figure out Flash Pro 8.  For 800 bucks a program should come with tech support and I don't just mean the people whose day you brighten by calling and asking really stupid questions they can share with their cube mates.  For 8oo bucks I got a CD and a book.  For at least a day I should get Steve Jobs answering all my queries.  

I swear every application I buy ruins my life for at least a week.  If I were to take this wasted time and instead farm the countryside my oxen and I would be feudal land lords.

2.  Do my Showbiz Scene.  With not many good movies to report I think I'll offer you this short list of DVD picks.

I. Season 1 of Showtime's Weeds.  Alternately titled Very Desperate Housewives.

II.  The only season of Peeps.   This English comedy will make you cringe...but delightful cringing.

III.  Not Arrested Development.  I love AD but won't recommend the third season on DVD.  I'm not saying you shouldn't watch it but I won't recommend you do because Arrested Development was cancelled despite all my many recommendations so apparently you didn't like it.  

3.  See Renaissance and Trust the Man.  The latter features a slew of stars including David Duchovny (his recent disappearance investigated by a secret government agency) and Julianne Moore.  It's a romantic comedy about sex.  Renaissance is an animated adventure that looks like A Scanner Darkly.

4.  Edit my Montana videos.  I have four hours of footage and a Mac with no memory.  Soon you'll be able to see these vignettes at www.myrealty.com

5.  Call the insurance people of the lady who hit my car.  That happened a month ago and yesterday while I was watching the British improv comedy Confetti a guy called me.  He was a chiropractor who had 'resources' who told him I was in an accident and might need his help.  He even informed me that he had a team of attorneys who could help me get a cash settlement.  Now 'cash settlement' is a very titillating phrase but I'm not about to sue anyone.  But this guy must rake in the dough.  How many people must he call who suddenly start feeling pain.  Although typing with a dog on my lap could lead to something he could fix.  (BTW, if you EVER hear some politician gripe about how litigious America has become, kick him in the shin.  It will be against his principles to sue...and then remind him that his bending to big Insurance Companies lead to the new tort laws that encourages people to go to court over the classic 'no fault' coverage that conveniently utilized all those high premiums you pay to cover costs.) 

6.  Write a book.  Yes, I need to not only write a book book, but first I need to nail down a book about real estate.  I have a month to do it.  I need to get that started.   Soon you'll be able to get it online.  (supposedly in October) That was one of those things that I agreed to do at work yet I really didn't know what I was agreeing to.  I was spacing out and nodding and it just felt good making everyone else in the room so happy. 

7.   If I have time I'll Podcast.  Of all the things I need to do this is the least important.  However I'm guessing it's what I do first and with most enthusiasm. 

It's strange and maybe even sad that I talk about me like I have no control over that I do.  For example, "gosh I hope I can get some stuff done today."  You'd think I'd have control over that.  Well, I do, but my mastery seems to lie only in not getting things done.   I hope I can overcome that. 

8.  Focus. 

Observations from Montana

The Great Falls International Airport has free wireless Internet.  It's called 'International' because they get a daily flight from Canada. 

The Great Falls mayor needs to quit smoking.  She reminded me a bit of one of Marge Simpson's twin sisters. 

People in Helena say "don't move here" right after telling me they just moved here.  

Boyd has owned Wulverton Fly Shop for over 40 years and he's not so sure about some of the "new people."

It's one of the hottest summers on record and the winters aren't as cold as they used to be.

Helena is that state capital.  It has 20,000 people.  Most of whom are high school girls who roam the streets in packs.  

I'm supposed to be working.

In Montana you are either a hick, hippy or tourist.  Much like Colorado.

The scenery is awesome even though Idaho is on fire and the smoke is not conducive to shooting video which is the whole point of this trip.  

I'm not paying for this trip.  

You must spray non-stick stuff on the auto waffle maker before using the auto waffle maker. 

Dangerous Mofizzle

I'm at Denver International Airport (in Nebraska) and just opened my computer case to find eye drops and some of Sarah's lip goo.  I have no plans to make a bomb.  Had I the right combination of Salon Selectives I could.  But I won't.  I wonder if I held up the lip gloss and eye drops and demanded money or I'd rub the two together if I'd get any ransom?

 BTW, a similar 'liquid bomb' plot was foiled in 1995.  The government spooks did their job, protected us (thank you,) and let us go on about our business.  It's ironic, I think, that this whole shampoo and Vaseline ban could probably be traced to petroleum. 

K-Mart Math

I went to the local Super-K to get some DV tapes.  I could not resist this deal...

The Mood Setter

I love live radio...

there's a job opening somewhere in the south...