Battle of the OhMyGodI'mTired Emails

Contestant 1:  Jared, male, 35, traveling spokesperson from Colorado

Anncr1:  Let's see if this guy can bring it.  Right now he's enjoying breakfast at a hotel restaurant...so it'll be tough to overcome that.

Anncr2:  But last night was a different story...

Worst flight ever.  I sat next to a guy from the Air Force.  He said, "I hate this."  I said, "But you're in the Air Force."  And he said, "You expect this from a B-52, but I hate this."  It was so turbulent the flight attendant hit her head on the overhead compartment.  She went right back to pouring hot coffee.  She asked, "You still want this" as the plane rocked into North Dakota.  I was nauseous and the air force kid kept grabbing the seat in front of him.  And then as we descended people pressed their heads against the windows to see when we might see the ground through the fog.  We felt it about the same time we saw it.  Oh sweet joy.    I'm here.  I'm starving.  6 a.m. wake up call jitters on the near horizon.   

Contestant 2:  Sarah, female, 25, working mother of two humans, one dog, one cat, husband

Anncr1:  It's going to be hard to compete with that last one.  Let's hear what she has to say:

Sorry about your crappy flight. Sounds miserable. Was it really packed too?   A bad night for the boys at home.  It was off to a great start with them both down.  Otto was up at 1:30, then at 2:30 Quin was crying.  I went in to see what was going on and we settled down for a little while Allie climbed all over looking for a place to curl up.  Quin's breathing was regulating and I hear Paco crying at the door and not just a little.  So I put him off as long as possible, but then it couldn't be ignored, he went out to poop, Quin was up, so it ended up being me sandwiched between Paco and Q from 4am until 5:15 when Otto woke up again.  I just pacified him and he went back down.  Of course I should have just gotten up then, but I didn't.  Anyway, we made it out on time and all is well.  Quin looked like rooster with his hair sticking up, Otto was happy as ever and Paco got to the P-A-R-K but was a tool to those dogs in the corner.   How is your morning going? I just got a call that the coffee machine at work is broke, yipeee!   Eat well and try to nap, hahahahahahaha!

Anncr1:  She sounds a little nuts at the end there but that guy should just shut up. 

Anncr2:  "Oh my plane was so bouncy...wah wah wah.." No kidding.

WINNER:  Sarah

Oscars provide neat, strange bookmark in our lives

Sarah looked confused.  Shaking her head she turned to me and said, "I feel gipped." 

I did too.  Off screen Tom Hanks is only strange.  That's cool comfort to me; I mean the guy can't have everything.  And who knew there was a "Governor" of the Academy?  Sounds like Star Wars stuff. 

It was just a few quick seconds after the Academy announcer brought Hanks, the Governor, to the stage, and Sarah and I were still wrapping our mind around that there is a "Governor", when Hanks ripped the scab right off the moment and announced the winner of Best Picture.  There was no reading of the nominees or a screen split into ten anxious moviemakers.  It was just "Here's the GovernorHurt Locker."  And then it was over and Sarah complained she had not list of movies to see. 

Did something happen?  Was Hollywood finally weary of itself?   Did someone get injured on the stairs? 

Congratulations "Hurt Locker".  Nice closing lines from Steve Martin and Alec BaldwinBedtime.

i'm blogging at work

you know you're in durango when...

Yes, a parking ticket.  Didn't even get the "howdy partner" warning tourists get.  

I really like the scared guy in the background. 

Oh, and old people trying to be cooler than they are.

Denver, LA, Ignacio

I'm all over the damn place.  In my 48 hours in Anaheim I managed to go to two days of conferences, do my little presentation, quickly go see the beach on day 1 and zip through Disney for Mickey ears on day 2.  Travel seems so glamorous until you're in a Hyndai Accent and wiping your face with a sock.  I definitely met the creepy guy standards, wolfing down my hamburger in the parking lot of the world's most famous theme park.  I'd spent my entire lunch buying mouse hats and had no time for napkins.  And it was hot in that little car.  Sweaty, greasy, covered in ketchup--I may make the kids wear the hats at least an hour a day. 

Now I'm in Ignacio, CO and staying at the newly remodeled Sky Ute Casino.  This is Southern Ute country.   It's wide open spaces, snow-capped mountains, and people with a healthy respect for the environment.  This may be why everybody does their smoking indoors.  Hey, if I have to second-hand a carton a day so a bird may live, then so be it.  But I have a feeling my canary would have died a long time ago.

This is the picture of health...

That's me at Seal Beach in CA.  Other people wear suit jackets to conferences, but their Brooks Brothers doesn't come with a hood. 

Meanwhile, back at home...

"Quin wore big boy pants today.  And then getting him to wear a diaper to bed was a challenge.  So he is wearing a diaper with the big boy pants over the diaper.  I just hope he is excited about the pants in the morning."

Q, I hear you man.  Fashion faux pas or function fo shizzle?

King of (this Small Part of) the Castle

Otto sees something funny...

would be even funnier if he didn't look just like me...