Tom Cruise had a baby!

Waiting for my coffee to brew I turned on the TV this morning.  That's always a mistake.  The morning 'news' shows  inadvertently depress me by trying not to depress me.  The lighter they get the more discouraging they become.  And this morning, at the same time on two of the major networks, was a woman from Vanity Fair discussing her rare opportunity to take pictures of Tomkat's baby.  She was gushing.   It was like while she was sitting on a bidet someone had told her unicorns were real.   Bubbling out of her interview chair she poured on and on about how neat it was that 'such big stars' were such 'real parents'.   Now I remember seeing my kindergarten teacher in the grocery store.  I was five and shocked that Mrs. Dodge lived a life outside of the school.  I don't know what I thought they otherwise would do with her; unplug her, fold her up and store her until the kids arrived, but I think I was sharing exactly what this lady was feeling.  I could not believe that someone of such stature would even speak to my mother on a casual basis!  And my mom even had a new name for her, "Gladys".  What the hell?  Was there some kind of secret order amongst adults?  It was disturbing and I was overwhelmed by the experience.  But, then again, I was five.  I was the kid who'd sometimes pee in the playground.  You'd expect me to be easily stimulated.  But this lady cooing to millions had to be at least 50.  "Tom Cruise, the world's biggest star, is so real!"  She said while they panned the pictures to appear in the magazine's next issue.  And I found myself leaning towards the screen to see if the baby looked more like his mom or his dad.