Veterinarian Practical Joke

So the below story happened last summer when we first got Paco.  Everyone thought I was nuts and I was never able to procure the evidence that encouraged me to do something so stupid.  But in the process of sorting papers, I found the source, from Hill's Pet Nutrition, Inc.:

The original entry: 

In retrospect soaking my finger in beef bouillon and sticking it in an animal's mouth was not a good idea.  But just moments ago, before the bleeding and screaming, I was dutifully following doctor's orders.  Sure he's a vet, and may not be partial to humans, which could be why he told me to turn my soft, fleshy hand into a doggy treat. 

The idea, according to Dr. Johnson, is that if wrap my precious digit in guaze and steep it in stew, and then gently rub the always-ravenous animals gums, later in life he'd be more receptive to tooth brushing and other dental hygiene.   Correct.  This descendant of wolves who's used to fighting six siblings for any little scrap of food more than welcomed my meat-flavored finger.  At first Paco seemed to think it improbable.  After all the stern rebukes he gets for biting (we're at about 30 per minute...so much better) it would be strange that I'd season my hand and put it in his mouth.  Unfortunately, he very quickly suspended his disbelief.   He grasped that this might be a limited time only thing.  And other predators would be sure to spot a slow moving and defenseless idiot smelling of bacon. 

I'm just glad I have some extra gauze.  Paco got a bit excited.   Soon this carnivore's wet dream got even better when he realized that his surprisingly generous master was including blood in the deal.  And, yes Paco, if it's not already part of your instinct package, that was fear you smelled as I threw you off of my lap and ran towards the door.  Don't worry, your mom was only crying because she was laughing so hard. 

And to further reward our dog the little guy got to lap up the broth that I'd spilled all over the patio.  

One day when he has no teeth I'll risk caring for his gums, gently caressing them with one of my finger stumps. 

Comments

[Pete]

i think that your vet is trying to get into comedy, or have you lost your freaking mind?

[lee]

ditto what Pete said, and I know you were trying to be funny, but dental care in an animal is very important. They have to anesthesise then at the vet. But as a back up plan I would suggest going to the pet store and getting one of those rubber finger things that look like what the bankers use to count money, but this one has attached toothbrush apparatus that makes cleaning animals teeth so much easier, not to mention less painful. Otherwise, you can be the Alton Brown of canine cuisine.

[zippy]

Doggie Dental Care is very serious. Please refrain from using it in any humorous context.

Canines Canine Society
Godorado Springs, CO

[VFE]

Jared, I think its VERY funny. Dont listen to the whiners about how horrible you are to make light of Doggy Dental Care. I can see that you aren't necessarily making fun of Doggy Dental Care, but warning others of the dangers of offering something meat-flavored to our dogs, especially if we dont want them to bite down on it.

Thanks for the warning! In the future, when we tend to our dog's Dental Care, I won't dip my finger in boullion and stick it in their mouth. I'm sure there's better ways of doing it.