On Hold during Family Tragedy

They say that you never see it coming.  You can worry all you want about whatever you want but you'll never expect or know when the worst will happen.  Yesterday I was all tied up in knots thinking about my comedy show in Greeley on Friday, July 21, at 8:30PM in The Magnus, 801 9th St, Greeley (970) 392-0080--no cover--when it happened.

The 'Geniuses' at the Apple Store broke it to me that they'd have to keep my Powerbook G4 for at least 48 hours.  (And I'm serious.  They call themselves geniuses and even have a sign that says so.  If they get any more heady I'll have to remind them of their IIE days when all you could do on an Apple is play that Oregon Trail trivia game or watch a green square bounce around.)  I have not been away from my Mac for more than just a few minutes since purchasing it in May, 2005.  Of course since then they've come out with a laptop four times as fast, but my laptop is still the king of computers.  It's the sexy silver one you see in all of the Starbucks commercials.  Cool, coffee-drinking labrador owners use the G4.  Sure soon they'll all be dangerously sipping twelve-dollar lattes over the latest Mac, but for a brief moment I share a taste in technology with the 24-Hour Fitness, SUV crowd.  No matter how superficial my satisfaction may seem, it does feel good.  We all want to be like those people in the Abercrombie ads, smiling and beautiful and never sweating or smelling.  Even though my diagnosed 'hyperhydrosis' has me diluting my Maxwell House while I lean over it and my computer in the summer heat of my shedio, I still get a little glimpse of what it must be like not to require regular towelings and have a loft apartment made of oak, granite and endorsed by the cast of Friends.  Now I'm on the PC that hides in the basement.  In 2003 I got it for 400 bucks at Wal Mart.  Some angry, underpaid Indonesian was seeking to bring down the White Devil when he made this.  Although it could be said that I single-handedly ruined this PC with downloaded porn, I have since abandoned it for my Mac, which I'm pretty sure could handle all the daily doings at NORAD...just not the build-up of my body dander (really, you could weave a rug out of the sheddings in the keyboard).  And there was that one Amber Bock that took a dive into the Powerbook.  And one night, while trying to save time by doing push-ups and water the garden simultaneously, I lost control of the hose and it soaked my Mac.  But now the loss I'm dealing with helps put in perspective how important to me my laptop has become.  And why only hairless, Evian drinkers should own them.

Comments

[John Clam]

I used to be a member of tha 24 Hour Fitness crowd.............but I never went, because the hours weren't convenient enough.

[Lee]

My desktop support personnel would just love you. You could single-handily make their job security "insecurities" disappear.

[Lee]

Hyperhydrosis Hyperhidrosis - (the correct spelling) tomatoe tomato, you still sweat vegatbles when cooking, which is how you feel once you have left the 24-hour fitness center, but are you good enough to eat?