Photos > Pictures that made Ewy's Playhouse Headlines (29) > Vagina Tree
The city wanted Jessie to cut down the old stump. It stood about 12-feet tall and had become a bit of an eyesore. Jessie fought the local government. He said he didn't want to cut it down. He said it was art. And the city said that it was not art it was just a really ugly dead stump. So Jessie said he'd make it into art. The city agreed. They gave him a month to do something with the ugly, 12-foot tall stump.
Soon a scaffold surrounded the maple's corpse. Jessie fired up his chainsaw and started cutting. He went to the A & A Hardware and bought chisels, sanders, routers and bits. The old people who work at the A & A (mostly so they can tell people that the whipper snappers at Home Depot don't know a hammer from a hacksaw) would politely inquire as to how Jessie's work was coming. He'd smile and say 'just fine'. Everyone was curious as to what Jessie was doing. The kids walking home from the nearby school would peer under the tarps that Jessie used to cover his work. The mothers of those kids would ask their husbands if they'd heard anything from the old people at the A & A.
But nothing. All Jessie would eventually say is that he was inspired. He said it was going to be a tribute to his wife and maybe even his mother.
And then one morning, while driving to get some vanilla extract at the Super K, Melinda Nells ran the stop sign at Delaware and Radcliffe and nearly killed Bob Baxter and his dogs. But Bob hardly took notice to the Silverado grill stopped just short of his demise. Melinda apologized as much as she could but it was just the adrenaline talking because she wasn't thinking of much else but what she saw on Jessie's front lawn.
He'd gone ahead and defied science. He'd stupefied scholars. He'd done what so many had so often thought about but never went about doing. He'd made himself...a vagina tree
